It’s The Most Wonderful Time…

The holidays have come and gone in my sweet little slice of the world. This year, I definitely felt the magic and splendor from when I was a small child. This was a rather somber time for my family, with the passing of several relatives. But even though all of that, I still felt joy in my heart.

This was a month of many ‘firsts’ for me. For the first time, I introduced someone whom I care for dearly to my family. Coming from a large family and being the youngest adult, I’d always managed to keep my dating life private. Being able to introduce the person who, makes me smile and adds joy to my life was simply, both scary and beautiful.

Another first, was the decision to delay my education in the pursuit of finding myself and discovering my other, hidden passions. I was so nervous about this particular thing. I fought with myself over the thoughts of what other people would think. Then, it hit me a couple of days ago. Who cares what “they” think? Are “they” helping you complete assignments and log field hours? Are “they” providing for you financially so you don’t have to struggle to work and balance a full course load? The answer to all of those questions was “no“. No one was doing these things for me, but me. So, in that moment, I decided that then and there, I needed to do what made me happy. What made the most sense to me.

Along with these two large life altering events, I decided to dedicate the year 2018 as the year of growth and exploration. I’m making a personal mission to accomplish and try things that make me very, very uncomfortable. I’m going to make a list of sorts, of things I’d like to accomplish in 2018. So, keep your eyes posted for that!

Though I am afraid right now of what the future holds, I’m more excited to experience all of the lessons that this year will bring me. . .

Come Take a Dip. . .

Very rarely do I ever get the chance to relax or just unwind. My day-to-day life is so hectic, I often find myself upset and nearly in tears by 4 PM. So tonight, I did something I’ve never done before; I took over the bathroom for a whole hour. At first, I tossed the idea back and forth in my mind. You can’t stay in here forever. However, I could take a moment or two, to unwind and forget the world around me. So, I did just that; I hung a “do not disturb” sign on the front of the bathroom door, I packed in my favorite scented candle, a face mask, and my Bluetooth speaker. I dimmed the lights and ran a nice warm bath. I even used a bath bomb I’d gotten as a birthday present (review on that coming soon).

So, here I was, alone with just my thoughts and some 90’s R&B softly playing in the background. It was amazing. I’ve never felt so relaxed and at ease. I was able to think clearly for the first time in a while. As I lay there, contemplating the fate of my future: continue my education or take the semester off. One thing stuck out to me; do what makes you happy. For as long as I can remember, I’d always aimed to make others happy. To make them proud. Now, I needed to do what made me happy. But, what makes me happy? My job? Continuing my education? Finding myself. My true self?

I let any negativity that was in me go down the drain. I took a look in the mirror and I saw me. But, this was a ‘me’ that I wasn’t familiar with. Who is She? Who is She gonna be one day? A leader? Someone to change the world? I didn’t and don’t have the answers then and even now but, I’m making it my duty and goal to discover them.

So, here I go. . . .